Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
