This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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