Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm really into asian looking animals
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
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You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
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The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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