I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this will be a night to untag.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
