You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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