i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is wine microwaveable?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
