party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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