I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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