How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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