i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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