plz talk dirty to me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
