i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Boobs speak an international language.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
