Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
