He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
