Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
