About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
