hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
