Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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