so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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