I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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