Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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