i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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