But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Randomize
