seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
