all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
