I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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