i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
