im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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