Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
