im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
