we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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