i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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