They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
