Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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