just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
