We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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