You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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