so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
