You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
