That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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