Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
