Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
