In the future we'll all be gay
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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