he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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