I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
