Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
