people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
