I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
