yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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