The maid of honor just puked.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
