im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
