What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
