Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
