oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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