Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
