ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
