I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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