Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
