In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
