We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
