im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
