My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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