Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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