Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
