Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
