I just threw up on my dentist
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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