He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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