We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
